There will be a very unorthodox and unscheduled recruitment session for the next 48 hours in the New Town of Auld Reekie. Anyone brave enough to risk life and limb for a daring covert Pole Socking operation should visit the mobile recruitment office above Waverley Station. The new Chief Recruitment Officer Masako Sanya is accused of trying to earn 'brownie points' with PS-A director and Scotland enthusiast Aaron Jer by recruiting from Edinburgh, but she denies everything and has said this to reporters:
"We're gonna need a lot of tree-huckin', skirt-wearin' badasses for this op."
The recruitment airship will be situated
above Waverley station round-the-clock.
So far the polls have remained steady and the PS-A board of directors has had little to say about the decision. Aaron Jer is the only director to have spoken about newly appointed CRO Sanya, saying:
"I don't give a damn even if she is just trying to give me a reason not to put a bullet in her head, it's a ****ing highlander convention up in here!"
We don't know what this secretive Pole Socking mission is all about, but make sure to stay tuned to find out!
-Alan Onslow, BBC5 reporter
On June 2, Pam Greggory and Bette Moss will be hosting a pseudoscientific public experiment to verify claims of a certain very famous Pole Socking veteran that starfish can be used to prevent most Pole Socking-related injuries. Volunteers will be treated to free, zero-carb vegetarian pizza and spiced coffee. Don't be late!
-Bram Gramercy, BBC5 reporter