April 11, 2008
Pole Socking back on the air!
Pole Socking fans rejoice, for the international media blackout on Pole Socking news has been circumvented! After numerous attempts by the PS-A at lobbying various courts for a lift on the media blackout, they've finally taken matters into their own hands. While on a covert space mission to eliminate the nefarious Mr. Ribbon, the PS-A hired squad of Scotsmen were able to reconfigure several Navajo satellites. The PS-A now has it's own world-wide communication network and no longer has to rely on a system that can be restricted by political party-poopers.
The shadow of an ancient Navajo
satellite can be seen cast on
this lonesome asteroid.
Any registered Pole Socking fan can use the new communication network by purchasing a specially designed uplink module. The units will have a price range between $50 and $45,000, depending on the broadcasting power and length of neurosurgery operations required. The few side-effects reported have been swelling of the cortex and sudden, irreversible death. Make sure to read the instructions carefully before manually inserting an economy priced module!
Sadly, the mission carried out against Mr. Ribbon and his enterprises was a complete failure. All information regarding the location of Pole Socking's greatest enemy turned out to be false leads, most likely leaked by the ne'er-do-well himself. More information on this botched job and the latest budget cuts and inquiries will be posted in the News section.
-Rick Gutwether, contact supervisor
May 15, 2007
Pole Socking banned in Australia!
Due to the recent tradegy in Australia, all forms of Pole Socking and all members of any Pole Socking league have been banned from the country.
Prime Minister Howard pantomimes the
strangulation of PS-A scientist
Louie "fatneck" Feltman.
When cornered, the Australian Ambassador William Fisher has warned us that lethal force will be used to expel Pole Socking from his country should it attempt to sneak back in. Prime Minister John Howard found himself unable to form words due to his anger. It looks like the PS-A better steer clear of him for a while!
There has been an epic clash between die-hard Pole Socking enthusiasts and enraged citizens in the streets of Sydney. So far injuries have been kept to a minimum by police forces, but the violence is only expected to escalate. The Prime Minister's entire political future hangs in the balance, and the fate of his party in the next election will be decided by his reaction to this dilemma.
-Ruben Känga, asst. to director of foreign affairs
May 14, 2007
Land For Water campaign a success!
A ground-breaking compromise has been made with Australia's Prime Minister John Howard. His compliance with PS-A plans to intercept and deliver an 'ice comet' to an unspecified location in the Australian desert in return for a constant supply of water from said comet to counteract the current drought was given in record time.
Australia: country or continent? You decide.
PS-A scientists have discovered a crystal-clear 'ice comet' only 24 hours away from Earth on a near collision course. With the help of pioneering rocket scientists and a little luck the PS-A should be able to increase the fresh water surface area of the Dry Continent by three-hundred and fourty percent (340%), satisfying hundreds of thousands of dry mouths and parched lips.
The new 'Aquatic Zone' will be used as a controlled test enviroment for submergible Pole Socking equipment and vehicles, and may some day be the site for a luxurious resort reserved for professional Pole Sockers.
-Angus Boomer, regional consultant
May 14, 2007
Welcome to the community political action page for the Pole Socking Anti-Defamation Union (PSADU). We are currently setting up office in Baths, Lithuania. More information will be available here in the future!
At this time we would like to ask Israeli citizens to write or call their government representatives to express their displeasure at the recent "shotgun-style" anti-Pole Socking legislation. Thank you.
-Homer V. Viltrosse, legal counsel